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So this morning I wake up to my mom saying something to me about checking her email at six o’clock in the morning. I think realize this is the day that starts my summer. WOW I couldn’t believe it as I was laying in bed. Finally I knew I was not going to be going back to sleep anytime soon so I just got up. I started to carry things into the living room to be put in my car. Never fully understanding what it is I am doing. That I am about to pack my car to leave for the SUMMER. As in not see my family for the whole summer. But like I said this had not hit me yet. So I say bye to my mom quickly because she can’t handle it and sit to eat with my dad. Who doesn’t stop talking about my car. But he means well. He packs my car for me and then prays for me and I hit the road.
Now if you know me then you know I speed. I will own up to it and I am sort of ok with it. So through five states I amd kicking butt and taking names. I don’t flow with traffic I lead it. But after passing three cops going too fast I learned to slow down fast. But as I was driving and I thought to myself, I didn’t even believe I would be doing this. Everyone told me I would do a great job and that I will love it but somewhere inside I didn’t believe in me. So this trip was great. Because I did it. I was scared and worried the whole way but I learned I can do things for me! As I was driving into Ohio, going over the bridge on 75 is when this all hit me though. It felt like I was leaving everyone and everything on the other side of that water and not taking it to the other side with me. I felt like the weight of the world and all the people who knew me were gone. This was overwhelming scary and great. It was scary because I was going to be alone for the first time maybe from birth but I am not ok with being alone. I am scared that I am going to begin to look inward and not like what I see. This hasn’t happened in a long time but it is still something I worry about. But this feeling was great too because I get to try things I have never thought I would get to try before. I get to introduce myself as whatever I want. I get to try things that I know will work and a some I am not sure about. So as I cleared that bridge i had enough tears in my eyes to cause a crash but I wiped them away and pushed on.
Oh and there were things that made the trip GREAT! Like convos with Jenny about crazy stuff and signs that lead to Canada and stories from Chloe about get things that are happening down in Keystone. OH and an amazing boyfriend who talked to me the whole time (or at least until he had to go be the pizza boy) about the most random stuff that made me laugh out loud for real. Well that was my trip up to the Wolverine State. I will post more about my trip in later days but now I have to go. Church calls in to AM. Goodnight all…sleep well!!
